Rushing into a relationship? Why you need to learn to slow down
Everyone is so busy rushing around, trying to get from A to B, hit so-called life milestones, rushing into a relationship, and doing better than everyone else. What happened to taking your time? Enjoying the moment? Actually living?
For some reason, being single still has that dreaded stigma attached to it. Blame it on the movies, TV, social media, whatever you like, but there’s a lot to be said for staying single for a while, getting to know yourself a little better, and actually living for yourself. No, it’s not selfish, it’s necessary!
If you’re nodding your head, ask yourself why you’re rushing into a relationship. When you meet someone, do you automatically start thinking ahead and wondering what the relationship is going to be like?
This is all before a relationship even begins! If so, chill out a little bit, let things evolve naturally, and see what happens. There’s a lot to be said for going with the flow!
Here’s few signs that you might be rushing into a relationship:
1. You just don’t feel comfortable being yourself
It takes time to get to know someone, and, equally, it takes time to feel comfortable enough to just be yourself around someone. Most people are on their best behavior when they first meet someone and start dating. Think about the last time you met someone. How quickly did you feel comfortable lounging around in your sweat pants and not really caring about your appearance? It probably took months or longer!
If you feel pressure to keep up a certain pretense all the time, it’s probably because you’re rushing into a relationship that hasn’t had time to evolve naturally.
2. You feel pressured to be part of a couple
This particular sign is usually because everyone around you is coupled up. It’s one of the main reasons that people are rushing into a relationship these days. The thing is, you don’t have to compete when it comes to love. If your friends are all in relationships, that doesn’t mean you have to be. We all move at difference paces. Some people simply might prefer to be single.
If you’re rushing things, it could very well be because you feel like you’re the odd one out or that you’re missing out on something. Remember, there are many perks to being single too!
3. The L word is uttered very soon after meeting
While you might think you love someone the moment you set eyes on them, the chances of this being true are very slim. If the L word is uttered within weeks, sit back and think about your motivation here. You don’t know the person well enough to be telling them you love them, and if you hear it from someone you’re dating, you should wonder what’s going on.
Sure, it’s nice, but let’s be honest here, love takes a while to develop and strengthen. If it’s being claimed too soon, it can’t be that true.
4. You try and put a label on your relationship too soon
It’s normal to wonder what the relationship actually is. For example, is it exclusive? Is it going anywhere? But, having this type of conversation with someone too soon can either scare them off, or take the fun out of the whole getting to know one another stage.
If you feel like you need a label and you’ve not really been together that long, it’s one of the biggest signs that you’re rushing into a relationship. There is no need to label what’s going on between you, it will become clear enough over time.
Over-sharing is a sign of rushing too. There’s getting to know each other naturally. Then, there’s feeling the need to off-load everything about your life. By over-sharing, you attempt to fast forward to the point where you know each other well.
Again, you can’t rush this stage because it’s something which evolves naturally over time. You’ll get to know the other person via the experiences you have together and the memories you create.
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