How to deal with disrespect in relationships
When each partner deliberately takes steps to have mutual respect, then you can build the kind of relationship that you truly wish for; where you can honor and love each other, putting each other’s needs above your own.
As a person (man or woman), you have two mirrors in your life that reflect back your image: your work and your partner. Those mirrors answer essential questions about your identity, your worth, and meaning in life.
Both send strong messages about your manhood or womanhood the reflection you receive from your spouse can make the difference between a life of satisfaction or one of frustration.
Most people don’t do it with the intention of hurting their partner; they are just self-centered and only concerned with their feelings at the moment. Listed below are subtle ways spouses may be showing disrespect to their partners, and hurting their feelings:
1. Making condescending remarks about your partner’s thoughts and feelings
When your partner does or says something that does not make any sense to you. To you, it has no ground because it is not supported by your personal experience. However, it is based on your partner’s personal experience which is just as valid and essential as yours.
Once you can learn to acknowledge, accept and respect that, you will find that your differences don’t have to be the point of contentions but an opportunity to learn another perspective other than your own.
2. Dismissive body language/tone of voice
What we communicate to each other is not only composed of words, our body language and tone of voice also contribute to the message that you send to your partner.
It is essential to be intentionally conscious about how your body language and tone of voice play a role in the message you are sending your partner. It might take some practice but the extra effort is worth protecting your relationship from the damage of disrespect.
3. Threatening to leave/give up on the relationship
Your partner needs to know that they can get through troubling times when they come up. Each time you toss around the idea of leaving and don’t, you chip away their trust and your commitment more and more.
How can you expect them to be fully committed to you when you are showing them you rather leave than find a way to make it work when things get tough?
4. Name calling
Names meant to hurt your partner have no place in your relationship at all for any reason. Doing so is child’s play and only makes the problems you are dealing with already worse. Learn to direct your frustration towards the problem you are dealing with, and not towards each other.
5. Mocking or insulting your partner
This is much worse when you do it to your partner in public. Some people have a high sense of humor, and it is okay if your partner gets it but once the joke becomes hurtful to them it is no longer funny, some harsh words can sting hard especially when it comes from someone that you love.
At the end of the day having respect in your relationship simply means you treat each other with courtesy and place equal importance on both of your thoughts and feelings.
6. Men need for respect
A recent poll was conducted with men. In that poll, they were asked to respond to two questions: Would you prefer to be unloved and alone but held in high regard and respected? or would you prefer to be loved in a relationship but treated with contempt and disrespect?
Not surprisingly, 74% of the men preferred to be unloved and alone but respected. A man’s need for respect is higher than a woman’s desire for respect.
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