“I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the experience”- Chrissy Teigen
Chrissy Teigen has taken to her Instagram to pen down the experience she had few weeks ago.
The star lost her new born son after being hospitalized due to pregnancy complications earlier this month.
Chrissy and her husband, John Legend named their son Jack which they lost after she was diagnosed with partial placental abruption.
Chrissy said: “I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the experience.”
She also revealed that she would have had to have an induced birth to deliver the baby prematurely at 20 weeks.
The star said: “I had no idea when I would be ready to write this. Part of me thought it would be early on when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened. I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I’d have a glass of red wine, cosy up with a blanket, and finally, get the chance to address ‘what happened.”
“After we first lost Jack, I found myself incredibly worried that I wasn’t able to thank everyone for their extreme kindness.”
“After a couple of nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming, it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.”
She explained how she instructed John to take photos and document their time in the hospital, even though the singer was uncomfortable at some points in the process.
“I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell.”
“It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story,” she wrote.
Though some people harshly criticised Chrissy for oversharing her experience by posting photos from the hospital, she wrote how little she cared that people hated the photos.
“I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like.”
Chrissy concluded: “These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
Even with all that happened, Chrissy is grateful to those who stood by her and also the fact she was able to spend time with her two children, Luna and Miles, and have her husband by her side is all she ever prayed for.
View this post on Instagram
I didn’t know how to come back to real life so I wrote this piece for Medium with hopes that I can somehow move on but as soon as I posted it, tears flew out because it felt so….final. I don’t want to ever not remember jack. . . Thank you to everyone who has been so kind. Thank you to the incredible doctors who tried so hard to make our third life a reality. Thank you to my friends and family and our entire household for taking care of me through all the adult diaper changes, bed rest and random hugs. Thank you John for being my best friend and love of my life. A lot of people think of the woman in times like this but I will never forget that john also suffered through these past months, while doing everything he could to take care of me. I am surrounded, in a human therapy blanket of love. I am grateful and healing and feel so incredibly lucky to witness such love.
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