How to reconnect when you disconnected from your spouse


How to reconnect when you disconnected from your spouse



It’s typical for a marriage to go through seasons where one or both of you is feeling detached. Or lonely. Or dissatisfied. It’s actually a natural part of any relationship.

In a marriage, you will go through stages where you grow apart and one or both of you is more focused on individual desires, hobbies and careers.

Given time however, you usually find your way back together. This ebb and flow is a maturation process, for you and for the relationship.

You learn to take it for what it is – a stage – and also how to reconnect after a season of feeling detached.

It’s fair to say the healthier the relationship, the more prepared you are to weather these dry seasons, but it doesn’t mean they are easy.

What can be especially challenging is when you are feeling disconnected but your spouse isn’t responding to your attempts to engage in a conversation about it.

1. Do something nice for your spouse each day

Go for the understated rather than the large, grandiose gestures. Fix their coffee and bring it to them each morning. Help with a chore that your spouse usually handles. You could also leave a sweet note in their car or on their bathroom mirror. Do something completely unexpected!

2. Questions you can ask

What can I do today to make your day better? Is there anything you need me to do this week that would help you with your schedule? These are both great questions, but they aren’t the only ones. Keep your questions light, action-oriented, and easy to answer. The goal is to be helpful not annoying, so be careful not to over do it and bury them in questions, or else they may feel smothered. Also, remember they’ve been resistant to talking about your relationship, so avoid heavy, emotional questions for now.

3. Show gratitude for them each day

Be genuine and authentic. Notice the little things they do, perhaps something they do each day that often goes unnoticed. Show or tell them you do notice what they do for the family and that you appreciate it.

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