Amputee graduate reveals why she ended seven-year relationship
Yewande Ojo, a Banking and Finance graduate and an entrepreneur, who lost a limb to an auto crash at nine, has revealed why she ended seven-year relationship with her former boyfriend.
Ojo, who has being living as an amputee for 21 years said she ended the relationship because her ex-boyfriend said he was dating me out of pity.
She disclosed this during an interview with The PUNCH.
Tell us a little about yourself?
My name is Yewande Ojo. I am a graduate of Banking and Finance from Ekiti State University. I live in Lagos State but I am from Ido Osi Local Government Area of Ekiti State.
Can you recall how you lost part of your left leg?
The whole thing started between 1998 and 1999. I was about nine years old and in primary school then. It was a car accident. I was returning from school when it happened; it was a head-on collision around the Ojota area of Lagos. I think one or two people died (in the accident). After the accident, I was unconscious and woke up in a hospital located in Igbobi. When I woke up, I saw a lot of injuries and wounds all over my legs.
Was amputation the only option for survival for you?
It took my mum two years to agree to have my limb amputated. It was the best option to save my life because the doctor said it was either the affected limb was amputated or allowed to worsen and that the injury could cost me my life.
Are you married?
My experience in relationships is something else because of my disability.
Did you face rejection?
I don’t think it was rejection. I can call it deceit.
Would you like to talk about it?
My seven-year relationship crashed in 2015. It was a smooth journey in the beginning, but in the sixth or seventh year, he (my boyfriend) started saying if he didn’t date me, nobody would date me, and that he dated me out of pity. When he uttered that statement, I didn’t think about the years I had wasted with him; I just called it quits. I won’t let anyone date or marry me out of pity. Never! You probably haven’t seen my picture. I am a very beautiful lady. So, that statement alone pissed me off. I called off the relationship and ever since, I’ve not been in any serious relationship like that. But I’m a single mum of one.
What about the father of your child?
He is doing fine. He is okay.
Are you saying you are in a relationship with the father of the child?
No more. Maybe it was a ‘situationship’ because I don’t know the definition I will give to it.
Did he deny ownership of the child?
He said he wasn’t ready for marriage and the child. He said I should get rid of it (the pregnancy).
How old is your child and how have you been coping as a single mother?
He will soon be one year old. Hmm, the journey has not been easy or smooth but I just thank God that I am alive and for the kind of family God gave to me. I am not looking for any job. All I need is money to establish myself.
Have you approached the Lagos State Government, through the office for PLWDs, for assistance?
Yes. Everything is a scam, my brother. Everything is all about connection. When my prosthesis went bad a few years back and my mum couldn’t afford a new one, I summoned the courage and made a post about it on Facebook. But most people didn’t know I was physically-challenged; what they saw was just my face. But when I posted my full picture, many became sad and some asked me why I made such a post. Some asked me why I didn’t take my case to the Lagos State Office for Disability Affairs. And I have been there several times but LASODA told me they didn’t have N5,000 to give to me.
Were there times men tried to take advantage of you due to your condition?
It happened twice when I was in the university. Anything related to part-time study in the university costs money. After taking an examination in a course when I was in 300 Level, my course representative gave me a hint about the result and when it was published, it turned out to be true. But the lecturer in charge of the course said there was an error in the result of some students. So, the entire result was cancelled and a new one was printed. When I saw mine, it was a D, but I knew what I wrote. So, I stood my ground and went to the lecturer’s office and he was like I had to use what I had to get what I wanted. I was so furious that I walked out of his office.
I had to carry the course over; I didn’t mind. The following year, I still carried it over. I went to his office and threatened to take his case to a panel (though I didn’t know anybody). But I just had to say that. The first time he approached me like that, when I got into the classroom, some of my classmates came to me to ask, “Yewande, how far? How was it?” That really got me pissed off. I have not tried such. So, the following year, I told the lecturer that if he didn’t give me my score, I would take him to the panel. By God’s grace, he gave me a B and I thanked God.
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